#2. Relational Leadership Model

Hello again! In response to the prompt: review the five elements of this Relational Leadership Model, think about which are most comfortable for you and why? Which involve knowledge, skills, or attitudes that you have not yet learned or developed?

I find myself most comfortable practicing the elements of purposefulness, inclusiveness, and process. I am a very goal-oriented person, so of course I find it easiest to work towards a purpose within the group. Besides that outlook being one of the qualities that I find is crucial to the success of a group, I’m one of those weird math/science-y people that like things in a very analytical order. Along with this idea comes the overall process. Once a goal is met, I always like to reflect on it to see what can be improved. And along with the alternative form of the word “process,” I tend to prefer following an outline of objectives, rather than begin a project with absolutely no clue where or how it is going to get done. Finally, a goal can be more easily met if everyone feels included. We all know what it feels like to be left out of something, right? Unfortunately, yes. That feeling is something I target when working and trying to relate with others. Everybody wants their ideas to be heard, regardless if they are chosen for the end product.

Oddly, I have difficulties with ethics and empowering. Now just because I list ethics does not mean that I do not have any morals. I do. Promise. I am also just a competitive and rather ruthless person, so I often make sacrifices along the way if I believe that it will get me to the desired result. I don’t know how this I could develop this, although I would like to, because I think it is more easily described as reflection of a personality trait. I also have not yet developed the ability to empower individuals within the group as well as I would like. I find this surprising since I was a cheerleader for six years. That should give me some kind of skill to promote spirit and purpose in other members right? Apparently not. I enjoy working most with other leaders that are able to give me purpose and reason to work towards a goal, so I would really like to be able to do the same thing.

#1. Part II: Empowerment

Most people enjoy the thought of being a stereotypical leader – the power, title, and recognition. Who wouldn’t want to tell others what to do while you get to do nothing? Far different than the typical thought of what a “leader” is, there is a distinct breed of authentic leaders that have the primary goals of promoting hope, trust, and positive emotions.

When I take a look at my own leadership style, I first realize how much it has changed throughout middle school to now. Within the past few years, my authoritarian style has given way to a much more passive and considerate attitude for those around me. I think this empathy was born after a series of hiccups at the end of high school. I have always been an ambitious, determined person, and that has not faltered through those times. I would describe myself as being very full of hope and a having positive outlook for the future. I am usually the person that those close to me turn to when they need built up or are going through a difficult time. There’s this genuine quality I see in people that everyone is capable of doing great things; they just may need a little push or confidence to pursue it. There is a quote that has remained as the desktop on my computer for the last six months:

Don't be afraid to give up the good to go for the great.
John D. Rockefeller

I don’t believe in settling, and I don’t think others should accept averageness either. It drives me crazy to listen to someone giving up on what they want, just because they hit a little bump in the road! My dad has always told me that life isn’t about falling, but how you get back up. View these setbacks just as hurdles along the way that will inevitably make you stronger and success more rewarding. Reflect on these hurdles so that growth may occur, but don’t let them ever hold you back. Next time, maybe more informed decisions will be made, or now it is known what doesn’t work to solve a problem. Either way – grow from it, use it as a tool, and move on to the upcoming ventures. Even if things go off without a hitch, it is still important to reflect and understand why they worked out well. Improvement can always be made, and successful objectives can always be more efficient. And guess what? This experience gained can’t only be stored in your personal toolshed, but it can then be used to encourage others when they are going through a similar situation.

One of my favorite ways to lead is through the empowerment of other people in the group. When members feel purpose and inclusion, they are more likely to participate and put forth effort in whatever they are doing. This can be done through both encouragement and listening. An effective leader is able to listen to others and is not afraid to implement others’ ideas if they pose a more efficient solution to a problem.

#1. Part I: The Magic of OASC

When I think about a community that I am associated with that is the most involving, ethical, empowering and inclusive, one organization immediately comes to mind – OASC. The Ohio Association of Student Councils is a statewide organization that promotes the development of student councils and leadership skills in individuals across the state. Throughout the year it hosts retreats, workshops, and an annual conference that have incredible impacts on those attending and the schools involved.

I was a member of this organization throughout middle school and high school, and now I am a staff member for the future generations of OASC delegates. During my six years of involvement at the delegate level, there was not a cause or group that I was more passionate about; I began my involvement with minimal attendance to the events, and by my senior year, I was driving myself hours away to every event that I could sign up for. I probably sound like a lunatic, but I promise that I was not the only one driving sometimes up to three hours for a workshop. Hundreds of students across Ohio would do the same thing each month. The amount of involvement is still impressive for me to think about because we were all there with one common goal: improving our schools and our own leadership skills.

Members of the organization refer to the impact of the workshops as being the “magic of OASC.” It is an indescribable effect that occurs when some of the best leaders across the state congregate and support each other in a completely nonjudgmental and encouraging way. We talk about “warm fuzzies” and “filling each other’s buckets” – metaphors for empowering and building up the individuals around us. For me, and many others, the organization became a utopic bubble where we knew genuine bonds could develop and that it was a place where we could truly be ourselves.

The most influential of these events was a weeklong summer workshop that consisted of five days of intensive leadership training and growth with approximately 60 other delegates. It was at this retreat that some of the most meaningful connections were made. My favorite activity that stressed the interconnectedness that formed during the week, and between smaller councils of the workshop, occurred on the last day; it was called the spider web. The small councils passed around a ball of yarn in random directions across a circle of members. Each time the yarn was thrown to a new person, the person from which the yarn came from must say something about the person receiving the yarn regarding a way in which the receiver changed the thrower’s week, made an impact, or recognizing a special quality the receiver possessed. Following the activity, the yarn was cut and the piece of string that each member held was tied into a bracelet and worn for the following year. I think I took this activity a little too seriously, because I actually did wear it for a year most of the time. (Actually, last summer I cut my bracelet and made it into a keychain to take with me everywhere, but lost it a few weeks ago. I’m not exaggerating when I say that I nearly cried over a piece of lost yarn.)  This spider web activity is a testament to how the people of the organization and the community group have an interconnectedness that exists and is unparalleled by any other experience that I’ve ever had.

OASC is not a group that just sits around holding hands and singing kumbaya all day; we actually do have structure. We have an incredible executive director, a senior high director, middle level director, adult executive board, and a student executive board. The student executive board is chosen each year at an annual conference, involving over 700 people. This team of directors and board members make the decisions that govern the way in which the organization will be run for the upcoming year. Conflict does occasionally arise, but it is never evident to the delegates or those not involved. Staff members are also selected to run retreats and summer workshops. During these events, staff continuously reinforce the idea of reflection and the deeper meaning of silly games played. What can be learned? How does this relate to home student councils? If you redid this activity, what would you do differently? What was successful about the product? … Members are often asked many questions like these by trained staff members so that the full experience may be gained from activities that take place.

And I know this sounds corny and cliché, but the organization has truly changed my life. I have met some of the most influential and amazing people through the organization that still have an impact on my life every day… if you didn’t think I was crazy before, this is probably the last straw. (Oh what a great way to begin my posts!) But it is true. It is probably a little obvious of the significant meaning the organization holds to me. And what is my favorite part? The organization that has taught me so much as a delegate still actually allows me to come back every year. I have grown up and matured from a loud, obnoxious seventh grader to a staff member that now gets to encourage the little critters to go crazy and be obnoxious. I now am a part of the transformation in younger students that was once so life changing to me.