The Last Piece of The Puzzle

How have you been able to apply what you have learned about leadership?

Since taking this course, I have begun to view leadership in a very different manner. I have transitioned from a static, task-oriented approach to completely different and dynamic relationship-focused viewpoint. Through the StrengthsQuest assessment I realized that I am very purpose and information focused. This doesn’t mean that I disregard other’s feelings and ideas, of course, but when working in a group setting, accomplishing a goal is my primary objective.

Different strengths contribute to the group in their unique ways. The greater the number of words are represented, the more complex and dynamic a group is.

Throughout the past nine weeks, I have adopted a new relational leadership model, in which I now focus on the process of working in a group and empowering the members. I have learned that not only is this approach more effective in long-term groups, but it also results in an overall better moral and eagerness to accomplish a task. Recently I joined a sorority, and I have already noticed that I focus on the relations in the group, rather than a linear series of tasks. (Well, I guess that also may be a necessity anyways when dealing with over 130 girls in a group.) With this new organization that I have become a part, I have also gained a significant amount of confidence that there are no “followers” in the group and the participants can still take an active leading role.

How are you more aware of yourself?

Like previously mentioned, StrengthsQuest has allowed me to become more aware of my strengths and how they contribute to the group. In conjunction with this, the course has challenged me to reassess my traditional views of leadership and realize all of the different possibilities that exist for leading a group and that varying styles work better in different scenarios. Growing up in a rather homogenous community, I have also become more sensitive to diversity through my readings in the book and class discussion. I already knew that diversity and greatly enhance the product of a group, but this was reinforced and explained during class.

A large emphasis in the book was also placed on change. I learned a lot about how to approach change when the group is confronted with it. Few of us actually look forward to change; for a variety of reasons discussed in class, we can fear and resist change. Through this discussion in class, I identified my own fears of change. As a leader, I need to be aware of these hesitations and confront them. It will be difficult to include and encourage participants to accept a change if I am unwilling to do so myself.

What things do you now see differently? How are you changing?

I have noticed that I view others’ leadership very differently. Unfortunately, I have become a little critical when I notice that others are leading in an inefficient way or are unaware of the dynamics in the group. For example, yesterday I attended a large workshop call Fraternal Futures, for all new Greek life members. About 1000 people were broken down into smaller group and led by two or three facilitators. Now that I am aware of the Relational Leadership Model, as a participant I was able to spot challenges the facilitators had with each other that they probably weren’t even aware existed.

(So maybe this isn't the most effective way to handle a conflict. As I look outside it's unfortunately snowing, so I felt this was appropriate :) A lot of suggestions were provided in the book how to build relationships and resolve conflicts - I don't think that initiating a snowball fight was one of them, however.)

I am not only changing as a leader, but as a person as well. I now appreciate the value of the “process” and relations that I have with those around me. Our daily lives are made up of both informal and formal groups, and I have noticed that I now actively try to empower those around me. As a first year student, I have little formal authority in my organizations, but I feel like I built a toolbox for the near future. In the upcoming years, I will undertake roles in which I will need to implement change and deal with conflict. I feel well prepared to calmly handle almost any situation – the book even explains what to expect with group reactions to both negative and positive change.

How will you continue your learning about leadership?

With my newfound awareness, I think experience will be now be the best medium to use my new tools in my toolbox. I now know how to confront a variety of problems, so I will be able to continually learn from others and experience first-hand how I can personally put these techniques to use. My awareness will significantly aid in progressively developing and learning as a leader. We have discussed numerous times in class that leadership is not a static process, and I believe that constant learning will support an ever-evolving group.

 I can gain this new knowledge in a variety of ways. I can primarily gain experience by continuing to be an active participant within my current organizations and seeking to fulfill available leadership positions. I recently learned that I will be on executive board next year for one of the student orgs I am a member. I am excited about this challenge, and I know that it will be a great learning experience, especially as a second-year student. I also plan to stay involved in a statewide organization (that develops leadership in high school student council members) during a summer workshop. People say that the best way to learn is by teaching, and by staffing previous workshops, I know that I grow as a leader just a much as the delegates do.

What is your own philosophy of leadership?

For the past several years, I have supported the idea that strong leaders know when to take a step back and others lead. I think this philosophy has been supported continuously throughout the book and course. I had no idea at the time when I first said it, but I was actually describing the “empowerment element” of the Relational Leadership Model. Leaders must be open to new ideas – even if they are not their own – in order to find a solution to a problem that will most significantly lead to a positive change.

With this idea of empowerment, I will once again stress my new appreciation for the process.  This concept frequently reminds me of popular quote, “Life is about the journey, not the destination.” Yes, an overall outcome is important, but is it worth it if members are hurt or degraded while a solution is derived? As leaders, we must be constantly observing and aware of the relations within a group. The life cycle of a group will be relatively short if the leaders and members cannot function with consideration for each other, which can ultimately lead to beautiful synergy.

This silly commercial for Toyota emphasizes how two people working together can sometimes be better than the individuals working separately. Hence, 2+2=5.

The Art of Possibility

The book my group selected to read was titled The Art of Possibility, written by Roz and Ben Zander. Overall, I found it to be very interesting book, as it presented several ideas that both challenged and supported my current ideas of leadership (if that makes any sense?). One of the authors, Ben Zander, is a conductor for internationally known orchestras, and I found it neat that ideas he discussed were easily traceable to his daily work and life experience. It gave him credibility – and plenty of stories to back up his sometimes-radical proposals.

The overarching themes of the book are centered around three main ideas: the transition from I to the WE, the revival of dreams, and “designing the stage to let life play out.” Most prevalently, The Zanders suggested that you should be the board in the game – if you set yourself up in the right context, your dreams will unfold in the way that they are supposed. At first, this was difficult for me to relate to. I am a very objective-driven person (or, as referred to in the book, the calculating self), so the thought of giving up meticulously calculated goals in order to just let things happen was overwhelming to me. I understand their viewpoint, but I think that this approach to life may work better in some situations than others. Although there is usually always room for creativity, some professions and dreams do not coincide with the idea of just “letting it happen.”

In contrast to this criticism, however, reading the book has caused me to entertain the thought of setting myself up for success and trusting that through preparation and unleashing my passion, I will eventually reach my goals – even if it is not through the means that I originally planned. I also liked the idea of being happy in the present. (That statement sounds a little obvious doesn’t it?) The example the Zanders give is when a man asks young girls how she is doing, she replies, “Perfect!” This a little bit of an unusual response. Not often to we think our life is perfect, but why not? This idea of perfectionism doesn’t mean that no challenges exist or that things haven’t gone awry, but instead, it refers to accepting the imperfections as part of the process in unleashing our dreams. The first practice introduced in the book is that “it’s all invented.” Everything we observe is a result a result of how we perceive it. They even quoted Einstein, when he stated that it was nonsense to found a theory on observable facts alone:

“In reality, the very opposite happens. It is theory which decides what we can observe.”

Hmmm… I like that idea.

One of the more lighthearted ideas that I found myself in total agreement with was “don’t take yourself so g– damn seriously,” (also referred to as Rule Number 6). Zanders told us to coax our calculating self to lighten up. This is something I definitely can relate to, but I have serious problems following this sometimes. I agree wholeheartedly that there is room as a leader (even necessary) to laugh and include humor. The Zanders state that when one personal peels away the layers of opinion, entitlement, pride, and inflated self-description, others instantly feel the connection … Wow, that sounds familiar to our class book, doesn’t it? It is completely true though. This exactly correlates to my past experiences in an organization, where one of the first things we do upon meeting new members is “break boundaries” so that these new connections can be made. 

One of most applicable ideas that I found in the book was the contrast between the downward spiral and possibility.

              Downward Spiral                   Possibility

The downward spiral tends to lead to falling down a slope of negativity and criticism. Conversely, possibility is about being “with the way things are.” This can be done by:

• Clearing “shoulds"
• Closing the exits: escape, denial, and blame
• Clearing judgments
• Distinguishing physical from conceptual reality

By following these, the Zanders suggest that the world of possibility will emerge and you will be able to see the opportunities, rather than the shortcomings of everything. As a leader, I think this is a powerful message. One of the roles of a leader is to encourage and empower the participants. This model is a great way to do that; by implementing it, perhaps we can allow ourselves to open each other’s world of possibility and begin feeling “perfect.”

#4. SOAR

During my junior year of high school, I founded a group with several of my classmates. The superintendent had approached a teacher with the idea of forming a group of students that would have the primary purpose of providing educational opportunities to members and the general student body, such as attending symphonies, musicals, senate debates, and math competitions. Some of my friends and I were selected for this group, called Student Organization of Academic Relations (SOAR), but in the beginning, we felt like a group just thrown together, not really knowing what we were going to do.

Formation

The advisor of the newly formed group did an excellent job of making people feel included and suggesting that we should also reach out to non-members for events and general meetings. Students initially selected to form the group were chosen based on a cumulative GPA and class rank, so we all kinda had the same goals going into the group. We were nerds; attending academic events excited us. However, our advisor continuously told us that we could do whatever we wanted and the group could follow our own academic interests. The school board was willing to give us money for the endeavors which we chose, but I remember it took us several meetings in the beginning to come to a consensus about how we were going to pursue and choose the events that SOAR sponsored.

Storming

During the first year of the organization, all of the new members were pretty motivated. I mean, what student wouldn’t want to be approached by the superintendent and told they can use the school’s money to pursue our own “academic” interests? (I use that term loosely because as the group began to normalize, we stretched the definition of what was considered “academic.”) The group formed with very a straight-laced and serious approach to the events attended. Overall, we were very focused, so listening to each other’s ideas did not pose much of an issue. We created a blog and online forum for students to participate in, and I think this really helped with the issue of inclusion. Our advisor was a very peaceful mathematician, so he was also always present to resolve issues and use his analytical personality to keep the students focused.

Norming

Over time, certain practices became normal for us. By my senior year, we knew that the president would always be late, so we could therefore begin rolling in 5-10 tardy as well. Occasionally, we also realized we could convince our advisor to fix us pancakes, fruit, and bacon. We also knew what our individual accepted roles were, whether they had a specific title or not. Some students were just along for the ride, while others were deeply involved in planning the dates of events, purchasing tickets, and publicizing our events. We knew what to expect out of meetings and other students, and this did not change often.

Performing

Since I was a part of the founders, my class of members grew very close to the advisor. After graduation, he had a cookout at his house for us to celebrate the time that we all spent together during high school (aww right?). We grew to be close friends and easily felt comfortable talking to our advisor about personal battles, so it was sad for us to leave. The class below mine does not have the same relationships built, so that was something we also discussed in our final meeting about building involvement with the younger students. We brainstormed ideas about how they can increase participation and build closer relationships with the advisor, each other, and the general student body through academic relations. Involvement was the biggest issue and conflict that we had as a group. The seniors to seemed to be the only ones participating, so by the end of our final year, we began to freak out about the direction of the group after graduation. Our advisor also saw this as a very pertinent problem, so we to find a resolution. Empowerment was our main goal, because we found out during our two years as members that if students felt like what they said and did mattered, then they were more likely to be more passionate about pursuing their interests and getting involved.

Adjourning

Tuckman and Jensen amended their original model to include this final stage, but my SOAR group has not yet reached it. My graduating class had our own type of adjournment, but that was not the end for the entire organization.

I still get Facebook notifications about events that SOAR is attending, so I’m assuming that they’re still in existence and that the issue of involvement has not caused them to end. However, sometimes groups do need to dissolve. I think this may be the case when the group is no longer able to ever reach a consensus, identify a common purpose, or just feels that it is more dysfunctional than constructive. One of the groups that immediately come to mind is my high school’s student council. Unfortunately, an imbalance of power arose a few years ago in which the two advisors now running the entire council. As president last year, I tried to create more relaxed conditions, but it is difficult to reckon with two individuals of power that refuse to listen to those below them. Council members seem to always leave meetings unhappy and very little gets accomplished in meetings. The two advisors and the president end up doing almost all of the work for the entire year. That is very dysfunctional leadership to me. Students see that and don’t want to get involved – we had to nearly beg students to run for office after I graduated. In that situation, serious reforms need to be made. If those reformations do not work, the council should vote to dissolve itself – for everyone’s sanity. 

#3. I'm A What??

This week, we were asked to take the Jung Typology test online. After I finished taking the test, the results profiled me as a 4-letter type with corresponding “core functions.” Okay, so what does this mean? Apparently I am an INFJ.

The “I” means that I am slightly introverted – which was no surprise to me. I do enjoy interacting with groups of people, but I can find it exhausting; I need time alone to recharge and reflect. According to the book, I prefer to think things through and reflect before forming or stating opinions, and this does not mean that I am a shy person. That is an excellent description of me. I definitely over-analyze anything I plan to say in front of people. This analysis has gone as far as causing me to break out in hives during public speaking and high-stress situations because I fear making a mistake.

I am also moderately intuiting, designated by the “N.” This means that I prefer to see the big picture, and I often approach situations with the attitude of “there has to be a better way.” With this projection into the future, this closely correlates to my issues of over-analyzing and need for reflection. My tennis instructor, whom I spent many hours taking lessons from, used to always tell me, “Don’t fix what’s not broken.” I had a strong backhand stroke, and he always encouraged me to leave it alone and focus on perfecting other techniques. I mean I listened to him, but I didn’t really understand that approach until the book explained that this view is the opposite of mine.

The next letter in my 4-letter profile is “F,” a moderately feeling-type. This type is the account for relationships and the importance of human values and beliefs. There is also an emphasis on personal relationships. This makes perfect sense to me. My relationships with others come before almost all other priorities in my life, because relating to the big picture (i.e. “N”), I feel like without friends and family, life would be pretty empty. Last week I even noticed myself becoming infuriated with a friend of mine because she did not feel the same way. For other people success can be the foremost priority, but I just don’t understand them.

Finally, my “J” represents moderately judging preferences. I prefer order and emphasize resolving issues and making decisions to create order. I like tying the loose ends of a project and seeking closure. It gives me piece of mind to have a clear-cut beginning, deadline, and end. It drives me CRAZY when I’m trying to arrange plans with someone and they are able to give me nothing on a day/time that works for them. I need to know what is going on… Unfortunately, this also means that others may perceive me as being close-minded or driven. I’ve actually even been told this before. I think this is balanced out my “feeling,” however. I am not a close-minded or judgmental person whatsoever, I just like to know where I’m headed!


I came across an article online that described the stresses that Idealists (that’s what I am – an INFJ) can encounter. Since we are Idealists, when we lose hope, it is easy to become stressed – which affects us to the point of muscle or sensory problems… This can explain why after my first midterm I was so distraught that I had difficulties finding my way home… 

Famous INFJs include Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King, Jr., Nelson Mandela, and two presidents. I felt that this was very appropriate, considering that I am interested in pursuing similar type of work.

Although there are fewer restrictions, I felt that the Briggs-Meyers test was more accurate than the StrengthsQuest. (I also took the StrengthsQuest while sick and exhausted, so that may have also had an impact on my responses… I took the same Briggs-Meyers assessment last year and had a very similar response. The difference? I am less introverted. This corresponds closely to the growth that I’ve noticed while being here, so I would say that it is a pretty spot on reflection!


A genuine leader is not a searcher for consensus but a molder of consensus.
Martin Luther King, Jr.

#2. Relational Leadership Model

Hello again! In response to the prompt: review the five elements of this Relational Leadership Model, think about which are most comfortable for you and why? Which involve knowledge, skills, or attitudes that you have not yet learned or developed?

I find myself most comfortable practicing the elements of purposefulness, inclusiveness, and process. I am a very goal-oriented person, so of course I find it easiest to work towards a purpose within the group. Besides that outlook being one of the qualities that I find is crucial to the success of a group, I’m one of those weird math/science-y people that like things in a very analytical order. Along with this idea comes the overall process. Once a goal is met, I always like to reflect on it to see what can be improved. And along with the alternative form of the word “process,” I tend to prefer following an outline of objectives, rather than begin a project with absolutely no clue where or how it is going to get done. Finally, a goal can be more easily met if everyone feels included. We all know what it feels like to be left out of something, right? Unfortunately, yes. That feeling is something I target when working and trying to relate with others. Everybody wants their ideas to be heard, regardless if they are chosen for the end product.

Oddly, I have difficulties with ethics and empowering. Now just because I list ethics does not mean that I do not have any morals. I do. Promise. I am also just a competitive and rather ruthless person, so I often make sacrifices along the way if I believe that it will get me to the desired result. I don’t know how this I could develop this, although I would like to, because I think it is more easily described as reflection of a personality trait. I also have not yet developed the ability to empower individuals within the group as well as I would like. I find this surprising since I was a cheerleader for six years. That should give me some kind of skill to promote spirit and purpose in other members right? Apparently not. I enjoy working most with other leaders that are able to give me purpose and reason to work towards a goal, so I would really like to be able to do the same thing.

#1. Part II: Empowerment

Most people enjoy the thought of being a stereotypical leader – the power, title, and recognition. Who wouldn’t want to tell others what to do while you get to do nothing? Far different than the typical thought of what a “leader” is, there is a distinct breed of authentic leaders that have the primary goals of promoting hope, trust, and positive emotions.

When I take a look at my own leadership style, I first realize how much it has changed throughout middle school to now. Within the past few years, my authoritarian style has given way to a much more passive and considerate attitude for those around me. I think this empathy was born after a series of hiccups at the end of high school. I have always been an ambitious, determined person, and that has not faltered through those times. I would describe myself as being very full of hope and a having positive outlook for the future. I am usually the person that those close to me turn to when they need built up or are going through a difficult time. There’s this genuine quality I see in people that everyone is capable of doing great things; they just may need a little push or confidence to pursue it. There is a quote that has remained as the desktop on my computer for the last six months:

Don't be afraid to give up the good to go for the great.
John D. Rockefeller

I don’t believe in settling, and I don’t think others should accept averageness either. It drives me crazy to listen to someone giving up on what they want, just because they hit a little bump in the road! My dad has always told me that life isn’t about falling, but how you get back up. View these setbacks just as hurdles along the way that will inevitably make you stronger and success more rewarding. Reflect on these hurdles so that growth may occur, but don’t let them ever hold you back. Next time, maybe more informed decisions will be made, or now it is known what doesn’t work to solve a problem. Either way – grow from it, use it as a tool, and move on to the upcoming ventures. Even if things go off without a hitch, it is still important to reflect and understand why they worked out well. Improvement can always be made, and successful objectives can always be more efficient. And guess what? This experience gained can’t only be stored in your personal toolshed, but it can then be used to encourage others when they are going through a similar situation.

One of my favorite ways to lead is through the empowerment of other people in the group. When members feel purpose and inclusion, they are more likely to participate and put forth effort in whatever they are doing. This can be done through both encouragement and listening. An effective leader is able to listen to others and is not afraid to implement others’ ideas if they pose a more efficient solution to a problem.

#1. Part I: The Magic of OASC

When I think about a community that I am associated with that is the most involving, ethical, empowering and inclusive, one organization immediately comes to mind – OASC. The Ohio Association of Student Councils is a statewide organization that promotes the development of student councils and leadership skills in individuals across the state. Throughout the year it hosts retreats, workshops, and an annual conference that have incredible impacts on those attending and the schools involved.

I was a member of this organization throughout middle school and high school, and now I am a staff member for the future generations of OASC delegates. During my six years of involvement at the delegate level, there was not a cause or group that I was more passionate about; I began my involvement with minimal attendance to the events, and by my senior year, I was driving myself hours away to every event that I could sign up for. I probably sound like a lunatic, but I promise that I was not the only one driving sometimes up to three hours for a workshop. Hundreds of students across Ohio would do the same thing each month. The amount of involvement is still impressive for me to think about because we were all there with one common goal: improving our schools and our own leadership skills.

Members of the organization refer to the impact of the workshops as being the “magic of OASC.” It is an indescribable effect that occurs when some of the best leaders across the state congregate and support each other in a completely nonjudgmental and encouraging way. We talk about “warm fuzzies” and “filling each other’s buckets” – metaphors for empowering and building up the individuals around us. For me, and many others, the organization became a utopic bubble where we knew genuine bonds could develop and that it was a place where we could truly be ourselves.

The most influential of these events was a weeklong summer workshop that consisted of five days of intensive leadership training and growth with approximately 60 other delegates. It was at this retreat that some of the most meaningful connections were made. My favorite activity that stressed the interconnectedness that formed during the week, and between smaller councils of the workshop, occurred on the last day; it was called the spider web. The small councils passed around a ball of yarn in random directions across a circle of members. Each time the yarn was thrown to a new person, the person from which the yarn came from must say something about the person receiving the yarn regarding a way in which the receiver changed the thrower’s week, made an impact, or recognizing a special quality the receiver possessed. Following the activity, the yarn was cut and the piece of string that each member held was tied into a bracelet and worn for the following year. I think I took this activity a little too seriously, because I actually did wear it for a year most of the time. (Actually, last summer I cut my bracelet and made it into a keychain to take with me everywhere, but lost it a few weeks ago. I’m not exaggerating when I say that I nearly cried over a piece of lost yarn.)  This spider web activity is a testament to how the people of the organization and the community group have an interconnectedness that exists and is unparalleled by any other experience that I’ve ever had.

OASC is not a group that just sits around holding hands and singing kumbaya all day; we actually do have structure. We have an incredible executive director, a senior high director, middle level director, adult executive board, and a student executive board. The student executive board is chosen each year at an annual conference, involving over 700 people. This team of directors and board members make the decisions that govern the way in which the organization will be run for the upcoming year. Conflict does occasionally arise, but it is never evident to the delegates or those not involved. Staff members are also selected to run retreats and summer workshops. During these events, staff continuously reinforce the idea of reflection and the deeper meaning of silly games played. What can be learned? How does this relate to home student councils? If you redid this activity, what would you do differently? What was successful about the product? … Members are often asked many questions like these by trained staff members so that the full experience may be gained from activities that take place.

And I know this sounds corny and cliché, but the organization has truly changed my life. I have met some of the most influential and amazing people through the organization that still have an impact on my life every day… if you didn’t think I was crazy before, this is probably the last straw. (Oh what a great way to begin my posts!) But it is true. It is probably a little obvious of the significant meaning the organization holds to me. And what is my favorite part? The organization that has taught me so much as a delegate still actually allows me to come back every year. I have grown up and matured from a loud, obnoxious seventh grader to a staff member that now gets to encourage the little critters to go crazy and be obnoxious. I now am a part of the transformation in younger students that was once so life changing to me.